my-silence-is-just-ano

My silence is just another word of pain. I developed  depression and anxiety attacks for the last two years.

The pain and shock of discovering a partner’s infidelity can be one of life’s most traumatic events.  As such, it should come as no surprise that it often takes several years for couples to effectively repair a relationship after infidelity comes to light.

Jan 2013, he said he need to take a break to Bintan as he is so caught up with work load. He planned for weekend getaway. I was on 5.5 days work routine and that is disadvantage for me to tag along. I trusted him, and let him go on his own, but he is not alone eventually. Both on a romantic getaway alone. I find out the whole story from his ex-colleagues literally.

The fightings only came about during the last 9 months of our marriage (involvement of the third party). He would said sorry and make up after that but it only lasts only for a weeks before we had a dispute again.

Since that day, my husband and I, we can’t see eye to eye on every other single issue and I feel he verbally abuses me.

He uses very harsh words which viewed a lot of resentment towards him. Moreover, the recent quarrels ended up in fights and I suffered bruises.

He didn’t made efforts by bringing me out for trips but I really feel that he should talk to me with more respect. But he would think I am asking for too much.

He thinks that I should be the understanding wife like his mum to his dad and tolerate his temper whenever he is angry as he said after he cooled down everything will be ok.

Recently, our sex life is suffering because he feels that as a wife I should have more initiative if not he does not have the mood either.

With all the resentment, I cant bring myself to go near him although I tried a few times but ended up feeling disgusted with myself..

He is always angry with me and think that I am silly because of my ignorance on many issues.

We both have different values in life too. He is hard working person, I don’t deny that. In fact he is a workaholic. While I am a more calm person in life.

Perhaps the frequent absence from each another as husband and wife has exaceberated the cracks already found within the relationship. Its a bittersweet feeling really and I am glad that all this happens in Singapore, I’m blessed.

“”I wish that I had NEVER MET YOU. Then there would be no need to impress you. No need to want you. No need for loving you. No need for crying over you. No need for heartbreaks. No need for pain or tears. No need for forgotten promises. No need for rejected hugs. No need for acting like you care. No need, for everything you’ve done to make feel like absolutely nothing..””

I sense a storm coming my way…

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